I love how your Introduction is written in this kind of old, formal style. It really enables your reader to see through the kind of "lens" of the story. Is the Pale a reference to Skyrim by any chance? I'm trying to locate the origin of your story and am coming up blank. It might be useful to include an Author's Note so that those of us who aren't familiar with the original myth you're referencing can have some insight into where you're pulling the story and characters are from. That might help aid in some understanding that is, at the moment, kind of lacking for me. I'm also now really intrigued... what happened to the son? What kind of magic exists in this realm that can bring him back? Why did he decide to abruptly leave his wife without explanation? I can't wait for even more information to come to the forefront.
Hi Dakota! Your introduction is so emotionally intense and well-written, I really enjoyed how easy it was for me to feel a connection with our narrator. He is a really interesting person that I already want to know more about. I think giving some more backstory for both him, Estelia, and their son would be really helpful. Also, I was really unsure about what the Pale City/the Pale was. It would be fitting if you added a sentence or so about that in further detail - or even provided a photo/link of some sort so that someone can decide if they want to investigate further. Keep on with the emotional sympathy because that is where your reader is really going to connect with the story. You have done a fantastic job of it so far, so don't let it fall between the cracks. Your ability to make the reader feel empathy is one of your greatest tools.
Your site is really well put together, and all of the parts of it seem to tie into your topic really well!
Everything seems to revolve around the Pale City. First, the layout of the website itself. All of the colors you use seem to relate well, with whites and greys matching the 'Pale' part of the name perfectly. It's not a complex design, but it lends an atmosphere that fits the topic (as well as fitting the general feel of your introduction - the narrator's reason for going to the Pale City is not a happy one, and the pale and almost washed out coloring of the website reflects that).
In terms of your introduction, you make it work in multiple ways. The hand writing at the top gives the sense that it's the hand writing the letter, while the image behind your writing makes your introduction look like a proper letter. In terms of the actual content, you introduce a narrator with Destrus, what seems to be the main topic of your storybook in the Pale City, and connect them through the central narrative of Destrus's quest to revive his son.
Hey Dakota, I love the layout of your website. It is very well put together and keeps a common theme across the entire storybook which I think is very essential. I enjoyed that your introduction really set the tone for what the storybook will be about. I can tell you spent a lot of time making sure the tone of the introduction was kind of a sad solemn tone. I was very intrigued by the introduction and it made me eager to read some more of your stories and also see if Destrus finds his son. There are many ways you could take this introduction, will it be sad? adventurous? heartbreaking? either way, I am looking forward to reading the stories.
Also, the layout of the website is really good. From the headers to the background of the introduction it all really connects to what you are going to write about. I think that this is very important when trying to keep the reader engaged in the story. Overall, great job! I am looking forward to see how your storybook develops.
Since I've already commented on the website itself, along with the home page and introduction, I'll focus on the new story.
The image to the left is really interesting as a visual framing device. It shifts the text to the right and becomes what the reader's attention finds first, since the left is where we look first for the beginning of text. In addition, the way that it starts as a grey blank sky and slowly reveals the city as you read the story is great.
I like the way you use descriptive vocabulary. The city, the market; they both feel vivid through your words. The only real part where I felt the wording was a little off was the line "...found that the tendency of the market-goers to ignore him worked to his advantage..." It feels a little awkward to read through, although I will admit that I have trouble trying to find a way to rephrase it well. Regardless, this is an incredible start, and the fact that you're pulling from so many sources to make your own unique story is incredible.
Hi Dakota! I really like your intro. I like how you wrote it as a letter from a father who lost his son to his darling. It really shows how passionate the father is about saving his son and bringing him back to life since he passed away too early. I really like the picture you have too. It is like the hand is writing the letter as I read it. Now onto the first story. I enjoy the photo in this story because of how it spans the whole story. You get to see more as you keep reading. I like how in the first paragraph the horse does not even want to go any further. Animals have this weird sense when they know something bad is going to happen or it is somewhere they shouldn’t be. It shows how dangerous this place must be. Everything you are describing in this story is described in such great detail that it feels like I am there and I love that about your writing.
Hi Dakota! I really like the use of a letter from Destrus to his wife as the introduction. Using letters or diary entries from a character is always a really interesting way to introduce that character to readers, as you can get a good idea of what type of person they are by what they choose to write. It also works to explain the situation without just giving an infodump. I also like your first story, but I'm a bit confused as to what the pale actually is. From the fact that Destrus was going there to revive his dead son and the way the horse refused to enter it, I had kind of assumed it was a realm of the dead. However, it seems like it's more of a place where a bunch of immortal beings live. I think it would be interesting for you to explain a bit more about what the relationship is between the Pale and the world of the humans within your story.
Dakota, Your introduction was very nice and creative! Your use of the background looking like a old piece of paper or scroll was a nice touch. I was looking for an author's note after the introduction, but found that that it explained it after your first story. Your first story was very well written. You are very good at describing scenes and characters. I also thought your dialogue was very neat! You did a great job with making Mulo have an accent. Was that supposed to be kind of Irish? I am wondering if the Pale City is kind of like the world of the dead? I saw that you listed Cupid and Psyche in your bibliography and am wondering if that was your inspiration for that? I think a little more explanation as to what the Pale City actually is would be really great. I can't wait to read more!
Thus far, I'm fascinated by your blog. The title really drew me in; I was expecting your inspiration to have come from The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson. While that does not seem to be the case, I am somewhat confused about the inspiration for your Storybook. Should we expect a marriage of the stories that have interested you most this semester, or is there a more unifying theme?
Your introduction is an excellent attention getter; writing it in the form of a letter was a great idea, even more so for your use of foreshadowing! The only change I would offer is to clarify the source of the myths that have informed your Storybook - at this time, readers can only guess at your inspiration until reaching the Author's Note. You also did a great job with your first story; you plot moves along quickly and smoothly, a style I hope to emulate in my own writing!
Wow this story is so interesting! There is so much detail and it really paints a picture in my head! I get a very eerie feel from the moment this story begins. It makes me wonder if the journey Destrus is making will be successful in the end or if it is going to cause him a lot of trouble. The part where you say, "By the rattling of chains, pounding of hoof on earth, and clinking of glass, he knew that the city must be well inhabited" is truly interesting. That sentence, although it is a small detail in the overall story, just shows how much attention you place in every paragraph. This story kind of reminds me of the Walking Dead when you describe the Pale Folk. The creatures that keep approaching Destrus make me curious of what they want from him. Maybe you will elaborate more on that in later stories? I'm really looking forward to reading more! Great job!
Hi Dakota great job on your storybook so far! I am in the Indian Epics class right now, so I appreciate the detailed authors note at the end of the first story. It explains the background of the story well and does a great job of explaining how stories typically work for myth and folklore. As for the story itself, I am impressed by the level of detail used to describe the setting and the characters. It gives a really good idea of how the town, and the people inside the town, look. I am also impressed by the plot progression in the first story. While you use a great amount of detail to explain the setting, the plot still advances and the first story ends at just the right time. It makes me want to keep reading. Great job on your storybook I look forward to reading more stories.
Hey there Dakota. I first wanted to say how much I like the layout of your page. The pictures and background texture do a lot to make your writing seem intense and enjoyable. I liked how much detail you put into your stories. It was a really immersive experience getting to read them, but I never felt bogged down with anything unnecessary or boring. I wish I could write that well! Apart from that, I really liked how you did your introduction. It really pulled me in and I was really looking forward to getting to see where you would go from there. If I could offer you some advice, I would consider adding a little more depth to your characters. Give them a little backstory or motivation. That would make the reader able to connect with them more. Other than that, I really enjoyed your work, keep it up!
Hi Dakota! I really liked your storybook from what I've read so far. It does really well at creating and atmosphere and building a world. I could practically feel the bleak despair of the barren Pale in the beginning. Pale City felt otherworldly. The inhospitable populace reflects the environment around the city and the atmosphere of the market serves as a very good contrast against the rest of the land. The only thing I wished was in the story was more detailed descriptions of the characters. It would have been cool to imagine what the stone woman looked like or what kind of animal Mulo resembled. Other than that, this was one of the best storybooks I've read so far and I really hope to read more from you!
Hey Dakota! I really like your main blog website and the graphic you made for it is really cool. Your story website is nice and clean but I think the home page could use a better picture to setup the reader for the world of your story. It's kind of hard to tell what it is, especially with the story title over it. I like how you setup the page for your first story. It makes it look like it was written on old paper, which adds to the immersion of your story. I like how this introduction starts with a letter to his love, and allows the reader to get the main characters version of his own life. The way the protagonist describes his mission is wonderful and really makes you feel the desperation in his plan. Overall the stories are great and I look forward to seeing how it all turns out.
Hi Dakota! Your website design is fantastic. I love the fact that it looks like your website is written on parchment. Maybe you could find some sort of script or something to use in the signature? To make it stand out more? Your character has a real sense of voice and identity in the first page. I enjoy the fact that he quoted poetry both as a way to express your idea and source material to us and give him some sense of intertextuality, what he had been exposed to. I really enjoy the reference to Joseph Campbell in your author's note, it gave a a clear sense of where you are going and the idea behind this story. I think that the first story doesnt feel as personal or have as much personality as the introduction, and that introduction evoked more feeling. I think that your going in the right direction and I look forward to reading more.
I think your website presentation is fantastic. The introduction page is formatted very well and sets the stage for the story effectively. The background adds quite a bit to the introduction as well. It looks like you were trying to make it seem like that was the actual handwritten letter on parchment Destrus left for his wife and it was executed very well. I read through The Arrival and though it was an excellent story. Just like the introduction, the whole page was formatted very well. The text blocks were easy to follow and the image that you included on the left side of the text added a very effective visual feel to the setting of Destrus arriving to the Pale City. It feels like there's so much that can be written about Destrus' adventures here and I will be very interested to see how it all plays out! Great job!
I love your intro because it is very different and original. I really like how your intro starts off as a letter to Estelia. It completely grabbed my attention because you started it off your intro by writing, "If you're reading this, I've already set out for the lands of the Pale". This definitely intrigued me to keep reading. After reading that one line, as a reader I am now super curious to find out who this person is, where the person went, and why the person left in the first place!
I am still wondering, why did Destrus not have time to say goodbye to Estelia? I hope you will address this later in the in story or even in your conclusion! Maybe you could even end your storybook with a letter from Estelia or Destrus in your conclusion! That would be an awesome way to end your story in my opinion! I can't wait to see how it ends!
I'm from the Indian Epics course but i love your idea of Destrus! Your website is amazing and the presentation is great. The author's notes were really useful and I can see how your creature is inspired from the Grendel in Beowulf now! This is so creative that you took on a project like this. I look forward to reading the rest of the portfolio and see where Destrus goes!
Hi Dakota. The first thing that I noticed was that there is no explanation of the Pale is. It would be helpful to be told where or what that is, explaining what the city is from. This would help oriente the story and its characters for the reader. Something to remember: when someone begins speaking, start a new paragraph. This makes it clear and easier to read. Your writing is really great. I enjoy the writing and the great descriptions. There is wonderful adjectives and strong descriptors that allow a reader to picture the setting. I really like your story, and you have an interesting plot going on. I am excited to see where it leads!
Hey Dakota! I remember reading your first story (it was so good!) and I'm excited I get to read more of yours! Once again, I really like the detail you put into every line. I said that in my past comment but I just think you do such a nice job on it. In "Mulo's Mission," I think you could maybe exaggerate the struggle Destrus' struggle with leaving civilization behind. You touch on it a little bit I think since that is such a big change, you could elaborate on it even more. You could also consider doing the same to the creatures that Mulo describes. I want to know more about them! This story almost reminds me of the Hunger Games in the way they are going to combat. Once again I think this story is very well written and I like the changes you made to the original. Keep up the great work!
Hi Dakota! I'm excited to see how your story has developed. I absolutely love Grendel, so I am now besotted with your story since you've added in my favorite monster. The way your story is set up is really interesting, as it follows Campell's monomyth. I really enjoyed how you added in a little bit of Estrelia's reaction at the end of Grasp of the Pale. It would be interesting if you added that in earlier, perhaps at the end of The Arrival. It would just be nice to see her imput/how she is reacting to her husband's departure since she seems like such an important character.
Hey Dakota! I really love your project site. I love that you have kept the design of the website very simple. This keeps the reader focused on your story, without becoming distracted by loud backgrounds. Your writing style is really great and your stories flow naturally. I am a huge fan of Beowulf, so I love that you included the monster Grendel. What you have done to change up the stories is really clever. I loved reading through them and picking up on all the bits that I recognized from the original stories. Keep up the great work! I hope to come back and read more.
Dakota,
ReplyDeleteI love how your Introduction is written in this kind of old, formal style. It really enables your reader to see through the kind of "lens" of the story. Is the Pale a reference to Skyrim by any chance? I'm trying to locate the origin of your story and am coming up blank. It might be useful to include an Author's Note so that those of us who aren't familiar with the original myth you're referencing can have some insight into where you're pulling the story and characters are from. That might help aid in some understanding that is, at the moment, kind of lacking for me. I'm also now really intrigued... what happened to the son? What kind of magic exists in this realm that can bring him back? Why did he decide to abruptly leave his wife without explanation? I can't wait for even more information to come to the forefront.
Hi Dakota! Your introduction is so emotionally intense and well-written, I really enjoyed how easy it was for me to feel a connection with our narrator. He is a really interesting person that I already want to know more about. I think giving some more backstory for both him, Estelia, and their son would be really helpful. Also, I was really unsure about what the Pale City/the Pale was. It would be fitting if you added a sentence or so about that in further detail - or even provided a photo/link of some sort so that someone can decide if they want to investigate further. Keep on with the emotional sympathy because that is where your reader is really going to connect with the story. You have done a fantastic job of it so far, so don't let it fall between the cracks. Your ability to make the reader feel empathy is one of your greatest tools.
ReplyDeleteYour site is really well put together, and all of the parts of it seem to tie into your topic really well!
ReplyDeleteEverything seems to revolve around the Pale City. First, the layout of the website itself. All of the colors you use seem to relate well, with whites and greys matching the 'Pale' part of the name perfectly. It's not a complex design, but it lends an atmosphere that fits the topic (as well as fitting the general feel of your introduction - the narrator's reason for going to the Pale City is not a happy one, and the pale and almost washed out coloring of the website reflects that).
In terms of your introduction, you make it work in multiple ways. The hand writing at the top gives the sense that it's the hand writing the letter, while the image behind your writing makes your introduction look like a proper letter. In terms of the actual content, you introduce a narrator with Destrus, what seems to be the main topic of your storybook in the Pale City, and connect them through the central narrative of Destrus's quest to revive his son.
Hey Dakota, I love the layout of your website. It is very well put together and keeps a common theme across the entire storybook which I think is very essential. I enjoyed that your introduction really set the tone for what the storybook will be about. I can tell you spent a lot of time making sure the tone of the introduction was kind of a sad solemn tone. I was very intrigued by the introduction and it made me eager to read some more of your stories and also see if Destrus finds his son. There are many ways you could take this introduction, will it be sad? adventurous? heartbreaking? either way, I am looking forward to reading the stories.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the layout of the website is really good. From the headers to the background of the introduction it all really connects to what you are going to write about. I think that this is very important when trying to keep the reader engaged in the story. Overall, great job! I am looking forward to see how your storybook develops.
Since I've already commented on the website itself, along with the home page and introduction, I'll focus on the new story.
ReplyDeleteThe image to the left is really interesting as a visual framing device. It shifts the text to the right and becomes what the reader's attention finds first, since the left is where we look first for the beginning of text. In addition, the way that it starts as a grey blank sky and slowly reveals the city as you read the story is great.
I like the way you use descriptive vocabulary. The city, the market; they both feel vivid through your words. The only real part where I felt the wording was a little off was the line "...found that the tendency of the market-goers to ignore him worked to his advantage..." It feels a little awkward to read through, although I will admit that I have trouble trying to find a way to rephrase it well. Regardless, this is an incredible start, and the fact that you're pulling from so many sources to make your own unique story is incredible.
Hi Dakota! I really like your intro. I like how you wrote it as a letter from a father who lost his son to his darling. It really shows how passionate the father is about saving his son and bringing him back to life since he passed away too early. I really like the picture you have too. It is like the hand is writing the letter as I read it. Now onto the first story. I enjoy the photo in this story because of how it spans the whole story. You get to see more as you keep reading. I like how in the first paragraph the horse does not even want to go any further. Animals have this weird sense when they know something bad is going to happen or it is somewhere they shouldn’t be. It shows how dangerous this place must be. Everything you are describing in this story is described in such great detail that it feels like I am there and I love that about your writing.
ReplyDeleteHi Dakota! I really like the use of a letter from Destrus to his wife as the introduction. Using letters or diary entries from a character is always a really interesting way to introduce that character to readers, as you can get a good idea of what type of person they are by what they choose to write. It also works to explain the situation without just giving an infodump. I also like your first story, but I'm a bit confused as to what the pale actually is. From the fact that Destrus was going there to revive his dead son and the way the horse refused to enter it, I had kind of assumed it was a realm of the dead. However, it seems like it's more of a place where a bunch of immortal beings live. I think it would be interesting for you to explain a bit more about what the relationship is between the Pale and the world of the humans within your story.
ReplyDeleteDakota,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was very nice and creative! Your use of the background looking like a old piece of paper or scroll was a nice touch. I was looking for an author's note after the introduction, but found that that it explained it after your first story. Your first story was very well written. You are very good at describing scenes and characters. I also thought your dialogue was very neat! You did a great job with making Mulo have an accent. Was that supposed to be kind of Irish? I am wondering if the Pale City is kind of like the world of the dead? I saw that you listed Cupid and Psyche in your bibliography and am wondering if that was your inspiration for that? I think a little more explanation as to what the Pale City actually is would be really great. I can't wait to read more!
Hi, Dakota!
ReplyDeleteThus far, I'm fascinated by your blog. The title really drew me in; I was expecting your inspiration to have come from The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson. While that does not seem to be the case, I am somewhat confused about the inspiration for your Storybook. Should we expect a marriage of the stories that have interested you most this semester, or is there a more unifying theme?
Your introduction is an excellent attention getter; writing it in the form of a letter was a great idea, even more so for your use of foreshadowing! The only change I would offer is to clarify the source of the myths that have informed your Storybook - at this time, readers can only guess at your inspiration until reaching the Author's Note. You also did a great job with your first story; you plot moves along quickly and smoothly, a style I hope to emulate in my own writing!
Hey Dakota!
ReplyDeleteWow this story is so interesting! There is so much detail and it really paints a picture in my head! I get a very eerie feel from the moment this story begins. It makes me wonder if the journey Destrus is making will be successful in the end or if it is going to cause him a lot of trouble. The part where you say, "By the rattling of chains, pounding of hoof on earth, and clinking of glass, he knew that the city must be well inhabited" is truly interesting. That sentence, although it is a small detail in the overall story, just shows how much attention you place in every paragraph. This story kind of reminds me of the Walking Dead when you describe the Pale Folk. The creatures that keep approaching Destrus make me curious of what they want from him. Maybe you will elaborate more on that in later stories? I'm really looking forward to reading more! Great job!
Hi Dakota great job on your storybook so far! I am in the Indian Epics class right now, so I appreciate the detailed authors note at the end of the first story. It explains the background of the story well and does a great job of explaining how stories typically work for myth and folklore. As for the story itself, I am impressed by the level of detail used to describe the setting and the characters. It gives a really good idea of how the town, and the people inside the town, look. I am also impressed by the plot progression in the first story. While you use a great amount of detail to explain the setting, the plot still advances and the first story ends at just the right time. It makes me want to keep reading. Great job on your storybook I look forward to reading more stories.
ReplyDeleteHey there Dakota. I first wanted to say how much I like the layout of your page. The pictures and background texture do a lot to make your writing seem intense and enjoyable. I liked how much detail you put into your stories. It was a really immersive experience getting to read them, but I never felt bogged down with anything unnecessary or boring. I wish I could write that well! Apart from that, I really liked how you did your introduction. It really pulled me in and I was really looking forward to getting to see where you would go from there. If I could offer you some advice, I would consider adding a little more depth to your characters. Give them a little backstory or motivation. That would make the reader able to connect with them more. Other than that, I really enjoyed your work, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHi Dakota! I really liked your storybook from what I've read so far. It does really well at creating and atmosphere and building a world. I could practically feel the bleak despair of the barren Pale in the beginning. Pale City felt otherworldly. The inhospitable populace reflects the environment around the city and the atmosphere of the market serves as a very good contrast against the rest of the land. The only thing I wished was in the story was more detailed descriptions of the characters. It would have been cool to imagine what the stone woman looked like or what kind of animal Mulo resembled. Other than that, this was one of the best storybooks I've read so far and I really hope to read more from you!
ReplyDeleteHey Dakota! I really like your main blog website and the graphic you made for it is really cool. Your story website is nice and clean but I think the home page could use a better picture to setup the reader for the world of your story. It's kind of hard to tell what it is, especially with the story title over it. I like how you setup the page for your first story. It makes it look like it was written on old paper, which adds to the immersion of your story. I like how this introduction starts with a letter to his love, and allows the reader to get the main characters version of his own life. The way the protagonist describes his mission is wonderful and really makes you feel the desperation in his plan. Overall the stories are great and I look forward to seeing how it all turns out.
ReplyDeleteHi Dakota! Your website design is fantastic. I love the fact that it looks like your website is written on parchment. Maybe you could find some sort of script or something to use in the signature? To make it stand out more? Your character has a real sense of voice and identity in the first page. I enjoy the fact that he quoted poetry both as a way to express your idea and source material to us and give him some sense of intertextuality, what he had been exposed to. I really enjoy the reference to Joseph Campbell in your author's note, it gave a a clear sense of where you are going and the idea behind this story. I think that the first story doesnt feel as personal or have as much personality as the introduction, and that introduction evoked more feeling. I think that your going in the right direction and I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteHey Dakota,
ReplyDeleteI think your website presentation is fantastic. The introduction page is formatted very well and sets the stage for the story effectively. The background adds quite a bit to the introduction as well. It looks like you were trying to make it seem like that was the actual handwritten letter on parchment Destrus left for his wife and it was executed very well. I read through The Arrival and though it was an excellent story. Just like the introduction, the whole page was formatted very well. The text blocks were easy to follow and the image that you included on the left side of the text added a very effective visual feel to the setting of Destrus arriving to the Pale City. It feels like there's so much that can be written about Destrus' adventures here and I will be very interested to see how it all plays out! Great job!
Hey Dakota!
ReplyDeleteI love your intro because it is very different and original. I really like how your intro starts off as a letter to Estelia. It completely grabbed my attention because you started it off your intro by writing, "If you're reading this, I've already set out for the lands of the Pale". This definitely intrigued me to keep reading. After reading that one line, as a reader I am now super curious to find out who this person is, where the person went, and why the person left in the first place!
I am still wondering, why did Destrus not have time to say goodbye to Estelia? I hope you will address this later in the in story or even in your conclusion! Maybe you could even end your storybook with a letter from Estelia or Destrus in your conclusion! That would be an awesome way to end your story in my opinion! I can't wait to see how it ends!
Hey Dakota!
ReplyDeleteI'm from the Indian Epics course but i love your idea of Destrus! Your website is amazing and the presentation is great. The author's notes were really useful and I can see how your creature is inspired from the Grendel in Beowulf now! This is so creative that you took on a project like this. I look forward to reading the rest of the portfolio and see where Destrus goes!
Hi Dakota. The first thing that I noticed was that there is no explanation of the Pale is. It would be helpful to be told where or what that is, explaining what the city is from. This would help oriente the story and its characters for the reader. Something to remember: when someone begins speaking, start a new paragraph. This makes it clear and easier to read. Your writing is really great. I enjoy the writing and the great descriptions. There is wonderful adjectives and strong descriptors that allow a reader to picture the setting. I really like your story, and you have an interesting plot going on. I am excited to see where it leads!
ReplyDeleteHey Dakota! I remember reading your first story (it was so good!) and I'm excited I get to read more of yours! Once again, I really like the detail you put into every line. I said that in my past comment but I just think you do such a nice job on it. In "Mulo's Mission," I think you could maybe exaggerate the struggle Destrus' struggle with leaving civilization behind. You touch on it a little bit I think since that is such a big change, you could elaborate on it even more. You could also consider doing the same to the creatures that Mulo describes. I want to know more about them! This story almost reminds me of the Hunger Games in the way they are going to combat. Once again I think this story is very well written and I like the changes you made to the original. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Dakota! I'm excited to see how your story has developed. I absolutely love Grendel, so I am now besotted with your story since you've added in my favorite monster. The way your story is set up is really interesting, as it follows Campell's monomyth. I really enjoyed how you added in a little bit of Estrelia's reaction at the end of Grasp of the Pale. It would be interesting if you added that in earlier, perhaps at the end of The Arrival. It would just be nice to see her imput/how she is reacting to her husband's departure since she seems like such an important character.
ReplyDeleteHey Dakota!
ReplyDeleteI really love your project site. I love that you have kept the design of the website very simple. This keeps the reader focused on your story, without becoming distracted by loud backgrounds. Your writing style is really great and your stories flow naturally. I am a huge fan of Beowulf, so I love that you included the monster Grendel. What you have done to change up the stories is really clever. I loved reading through them and picking up on all the bits that I recognized from the original stories. Keep up the great work! I hope to come back and read more.