Some Feedback Strategies

"Feedback" written on a chalkboard. (Max Pixel)

This week we were asked to read a couple articles and reflect on the process of giving feedback to others. The first article I read was "Try Feedforward instead of Feedback" by Marshall Goldsmith. The article argues that future-focused advice is easier to give and receive than criticism of past performance. I definitely think that there's a role for both consideration of past experience and for thinking about the future. I tend to give feedback as "next time, you might try to..." which is somewhere in the middle of the two styles described in this article.

Next, I read "Presence, Not Praise: How To Cultivate a Healthy Relationship with Achievement" by Maria Popova. Dr. Dweck (growth mindset!) was a familiar name mentioned in this article, and again parenting is treated as the process of "cultivating" traits in children as though kids are crops. That pet peeve aside, there is something to be said for presence as its described in the article. Not just with kids, but with everyone we engage with, I feel that it's more meaningful to be genuinely engaged than to mindlessly bestow praise. In reflection, I think I can do more to show genuine interest in cases where I might usually leave it at, "oh, that's really cool".

Feedback Thoughts

This Week we read a bit about why feedback is important and how to overcome the stress that can be associated with negative feedback or comparison.

The first article I read was "The Psychology of Comparison and How to Stop" by Ellen Jackson. She doesn't really dive into the psychology of social comparison which was kind of disappointing, but the point of the article was a solid one. She writes that while it's natural to compare ourselves with others, it's not something that always helps us to achieve. I like the philosophy of seeking out intrinsic motivation and finding ways to propel oneself forward with firm and focused goals.

I was going to read an article on Forbes next, but I don't like being forced to disable Adblock.

Instead I read "Why Rejection Hurts So Much and What to Do About It" by Guy Winch. I think I agree with his argument that rejection (even the threat thereof) is one of the most common sources of emotional pain we face. There were a few tips he wrote about that are meant to help curb the pain of rejection, some of which I feel like I already employ. Especially resonant with me is the need to limit self-criticism.

I'm not adverse to feedback so long as I feel like I'm being respected in the process. There's been plenty of times in my life that someone has come to me with constructive criticism about anything from a school project to my personality, and it helps me grow!

A group of businesspeople talking... Maybe giving constructive feedback to each other! (pxhere)